So as much as I want to post since I now have internet, I want to have my bestest bloggity friend do her very first guest post ever & it's here.
Michelle's blog is amazing! She is a beautiful, nice, and strong mom, wife and friend. Plus there is an amwesome surprise at the end. :)
Hiya! I'm Michelle. I'm really excited to do a guest post for you today on Jess's blog. I've never "guest posted" before so I thought it would be fun to give it a whirl. I'm a full-time working mom and wife who always has a mile long to-do list. My two year-old son Carter is my pride and joy but he can also be a bit of a monster at times. But that's not really what I want to talk about today. Today I'd like to talk about pregnancy loss.
I know it's not really a fun topic, but it's a topic that I found to be taboo before I experienced it myself. This
past February, when I was 14 weeks pregnant I found out I had lost my baby girl. I went in for a routine doctors appointment and our little girl no longer had a heartbeat. The devastation I felt was not comparable to anything I had experienced in my life. Most people reacted with "it wasn't meant to be," "there must have been something wrong," and my favorite "it's for the best." And at first, I agreed with them.
My doctor assured me that my pregnancy was still in the early stages and that my baby was still small. But what did my doctor mean exactly by that? My baby was still small so she didn't matter as much and I shouldn't feel as bad? That almost made me feel worse. Why was everyone trying to down play how I should feel? Everyone wanted to tell me something that they felt would make me feel better, but none of it did. After what had happened really sunk in, I was able to shake everyone else's advice and comments, and I allowed myself to be sad. I didn't begin to heal until I could fully experience my pain.
My advice to you if you ever have a friend or loved one, or you yourself experience such loss is please don't minimize what has happened. What has happened is traumatic and life-altering and it can be confusing to a person by down playing such an experience. I felt so conflicted. I didn't understand why I had so much hurt going on inside me when everyone else was telling me it was "for the best." I wanted to mourn, I wanted to talk about my baby girl and I still do. Please don't change subjects or pretend this didn't happen to me. I was the most grateful for those friends and family who acknowledged my loss, sent a card, comforted me, sent flowers, and those who let me be sad without treating me like a crazy person. I couldn't believe certain friends and co-workers just didn't acknowledge my loss at all.
Today, I'm still trying to be strong. I've come to realize the sting of what happened will never fully go away, I've changed forever. I'm a little more jaded as I've lost the innocence of pregnancy. My husband and I started trying to conceive again right away and I was sure we would get pregnant quickly. Eight months later, we finally got our wish in the form of two pretty pink lines. I'm now about seven weeks pregnant and due in June. We will never forget out baby girl we named Rose and having another child will never replace her, but for now, we are hopeful. Thank you Jess for letting me share my story.
Michelle
Thanks so much for guest posting. & congratssss to your family.
